there is absolutely nothing wrong with stating that you don’t like a ship. but going on and on about the ship’s flaws, or voicing said opinion in a manner that is rude or disrespectful, isn’t allowed at all.
i don’t think it’s true that it ALWAYS ends up with someone bashing something or other, because i’ve been part of very good conversations where no insulting was happening. if i see bashing, i will step in. but i can’t always be on the site 100% of the time, so yes, sometimes it will slip by. if there are repeated incidents, the cbox will be removed for a short period of time.
i’m really sorry that’s been happening again. i just made a post in the “behavior” thread, so hopefully people will take note of that. let me mention, however, that i think that mentioning to people that you’re uncomfortable with the way they’re discussing your favorite ship/fandom/celeb is a much more productive way of ending the discussion than letting resentment fester. most people will apologize immediately and move the conversation to something else. if they don’t, then of course i will step in with higher sanctions and actions. but respectful discussion is definitely the first step to make when this comes around.
we’re not allowing it. we’re just not always online to catch it, which is why it’s useful (thank you!) that you guys are sending us messages like this; so that we’re aware of what is going on, etc. hating towards anything or anyone on cosl has never been tolerated, and won’t be. i’m sorry it’s been turning you off the site! that’s definitely not the kind of atmosphere we want to foster.
good point! nobody should have to feel like what they ship is shameful. i’ll mention it; hopefully people will stop. :)
i’m inclined to say no, primarily because i tend to think restricting any action to a legal age (especially on a roleplay site) isn’t the smartest thing to do. 17-, 16-, even 15-year-old roleplayers are smart, functioning people. given that there is no actual sex act committed, and it is kept strictly to roleplaying, i see very little ethical dilemma so long as everyone involved has consented to the smut plot, etc. it all depends on everyone’s level of maturity in handling the content, not on age. i was writing smut at fifteen. it was titillating and probably very bad, but innocent enough, because i wasn’t roleplaying smut as /myself/ – otherwise said, it wasn’t cybersex (which is, i think, an important distinction). and i think, as long as the distinction between real life and roleplay is kept intact, it’s perfectly fine for anyone who feels mature enough to handle the subject to do so.
of course – if certain rpers’ parents and/or guardians want them not to participate, i would prefer that they didn’t, but i have no way to control that.
but i’m interested to hear your side of the argument! please feel free to express your feelings in more detail; i’m open to hearing more.
i totally understand the will and the want to defend a friend and the site. i’ve reread the conversation twice now, and i certainly don’t blame the members for having felt so attacked or anything at all. what i reproach is the way in which certain things were said, presented, and discussed. it’s entirely possible to discuss things with otherwise rude people without having to resort to rudeness as well. preserving cosl’s integrity is incredibly important to me, and i want to foster a community that’s healthy, that’s kind, that’s generous, and most of all, that’s understanding. if someone comes inside the cbox and tells me they don’t like the site, of course i’ll be upset. that’s a natural human response. but i don’t think it’s okay to beat them down because of that. all i’m trying to do is to ask people to be the bigger man. you’re absolutely not overstepping, anon! i welcome your opinion, and i’m sorry you thought i was being rude. but i hope this presented my side of the situation to you in an okay manner? let me know if there’s anything else i should address!
i’d argue that it’s not the site’s fault, only that of certain people. but yes, i am deeply disappointed with certain things as well.
i am so sorry about this, anon. if i’d been on the site while this was happening, i would have stepped in, but unfortunately, i wasn’t around. i absolutely do not condone members attacking guests in the cbox, and i would have hoped that people would have tried to prove the guests wrong, instead of ganging up on them. hopefully this is something we can all learn from. as for cosl having a reputation for bullying, i just wanted to say i really hope most people don’t see us in that light. i really don’t want the site to have a bad reputation, because it’s my baby and i want as many people to enjoy it as possible.